Talking to God...
I met god the other day.
I know what you're thinking. How the hell did you know it was god?
Well, I'll explain as we go along, but basically he convinced me by
having all, and I do mean ALL, the answers. Every question I flung at
him he batted back with a plausible and satisfactory answer. In the
end, it was easier to accept that he was god than otherwise.
Which is odd, because I'm still an atheist and we even agree on that!
It all started on the 8.20 back from Paddington. Got myself a nice
window seat, no screaming brats or drunken hooligans within earshot.
Not even a mobile phone in sight. Sat down, reading the paper and in
he walks.
What did he look like?
Well not what you might have expected that's for sure. He was about
30, wearing a pair of jeans and a "hobgoblin" tee shirt. Definitely
casual. Looked like he could have been a social worker or perhaps a
programmer like myself.
'Anyone sitting here?' he said.
'Help yourself' I replied.
Sits down, relaxes, I ignore and back to the correspondence on genetic
foods entering the food chain…
Train pulls out and a few minutes later he speaks.
'Can I ask you a question?'
Fighting to restrain my left eyebrow I replied 'Yes' in a tone which
was intended to convey that I might not mind one question, and
possibly a supplementary, but I really wasn't in the mood for a
conversation. ..
'Why don't you believe in god?'
The Bastard!
I love this kind of conversation and can rabbit on for hours about the
nonsense of theist beliefs. But I have to be in the mood! It's like
when a jehova's witness knocks on your door 20 minutes before you're
due to have a wisdom tooth pulled. Much as you'd really love to stay…
You can't even begin the fun. And I knew, if I gave my standard reply
we'd still be arguing when we got to Cardiff. I just wasn't in the
mood. I needed to fend him off.
But then I thought 'Odd! How is this perfect stranger so obviously
confident – and correct – about my atheism?' If I'd been driving my
car, it wouldn't have been such a mystery. I've got the Darwin fish on
the back of mine – the antidote to that twee christian fish you see
all over. So anyone spotting that and understanding it would have been
in a position to guess my beliefs. But I was on a train and not even
wearing my Darwin "Evolve" tshirt that day. And 'The Independent'
isn't a registered flag for card carrying atheists, so what, I
wondered, had given the game away.
'What makes you so certain that I don't?'
'Because', he said, ' I am god – and you are not afraid of me'
You'll have to take my word for it of course, but there are ways you
can deliver a line like that – most of which would render the speaker
a candidate for an institution, or at least prozac. Some of which
could be construed as mildly amusing.
Conveying it as "indifferent fact" is a difficult task but that's
exactly how it came across. Nothing in his tone or attitude struck me
as even mildly out of place with that statement. He said it because he
believed it and his rationality did not appear to be drug induced or
the result of a mental breakdown.
'And why should I believe that?'
'Well' he said, 'why don't you ask me a few questions. Anything you
like, and see if the answers satisfy your sceptical mind?'
This is going to be a short conversation after all, I thought.
'Who am I?'
'Stottle. Harry Stottle, born August 10 1947, Bristol, England. Father
Paul, Mother Mary. Educated Duke of Yorks Royal Military School 1960
67, Sandhurst and Oxford, PhD in Exobiology, failed rock singer, full
time trade union activist for 10 years, latterly self employed
computer programmer, web author and aspiring philosopher. Married to
Michelle, American citizen, two children by a previous marriage.
You're returning home after what seems to have been a successful
meeting with an investor interested in your proposed product tracking
anti-forgery software and protocol and you ate a full english
breakfast at the hotel this morning except that, as usual, you asked
them to hold the revolting english sausages and give you some extra
bacon. '
He paused
'You're not convinced. Hmmm… what would it take to convince you?'
'oh right! Your most secret password and its association'
A serious hacker might be able to obtain the password, but no one else
and I mean
NO ONE
knows its association.
He did.
So how would you have played it?
I threw a few more questions about relatively insignificant but
unpublicised details of my life (like what my mother claims was the
first word I ever spoke – apparently "armadillo"! (Don't ask…)) but I
was already pretty convinced. I knew there were only three possible
explanations at this point.
Possibility One was that I was dreaming or hallucinating. Nobody's
figured out a test for that so, at the time I think that was my
dominant feeling. It did not feel real at the time. More like I was in
a play. Acting my lines. Since the event, however, continuing detailed
memories of it, together with my contemporaneous notes, remain
available, so unless the hallucination has continued to this day, I am
now inclined to reject the hallucination hypothesis. Which leaves two
others.
He could have been a true telepath. No documented evidence exists of
anyone ever having such profound abilities to date but it was a
possibility. It would have explained how he could know my best-kept
secrets. The problem with that is that it doesn't explain anything
else! In particular it doesn't account for the answers he proceeded to
give to my later questions.
As Sherlock Holmes says, when you've eliminated the impossible,
whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Good empiricist, Sherlock.
I was forced to accept at least the possibility that this man was who
he claimed to be.
So now what do you do?
Well, I've always known that if I met god I would have a million
questions for him, so I thought, 'why not?' and proceeded with what
follows. You'll have to allow a bit of licence in the detail of the
conversation. This was, shall we say, a somewhat unusual occurrence,
not to mention just a BIT weird! And yes I was a leetle bit nervous!
So if I don't get it word perfect don't whinge! You'll get the gist I
promise.
***********************************
'Forgive me if it takes me a little time to get up to speed here, but
it's not everyday I get to question a deity'
'The Deity' he interrupted.
'ooh. Touchy!' I thought.
'Not really – just correcting the image'
Now That takes some getting used to!
I tried to get a grip on my thoughts, with an internal command -
'Discipline Harry. You've always wanted to be in a situation like
this, now you're actually in it, you mustn't go to pieces and waste
the opportunity of a lifetime'
'You won't' he said.
Tell you! That's the bit that made it feel unreal more than anything
else - this guy sitting across the table and very obviously accurately
reading my every thought. It's like finding someone else's hand inside
your trouser pocket!
Nevertheless, something made me inclined to accept the invasion, I had
obviously begun to have some confidence in his perception or
abilities, so I distinctly remember the effect of his words was that I
suddenly felt deeply reassured and completely relaxed. As he had no
doubt intended. Man must have an amazing seduction technique!
So then we got down to business…
'Are you human?'
'No'
'Were you, ever?'
'No, but similar, Yes'
'Ah, so you are a product of evolution?'
'Most certainly – mainly my own'
'and you evolved from a species like ours, dna based organisms or
something equally viable?'
'Correct'
'so what, exactly, makes you god?'
'I did'
'Why?'
'Seemed like a good idea at the time'
'and your present powers, are they in any way similar to what the
superstitious believers in my species attribute to you?'
'Close enough. '
'So you created all this, just for us?'
'No. Of course not'
'But you did create the Universe?'
'This One. Yes'
'But not your own?'
'This is my own!'
'You know what I mean!'
'You can't create your own parents, so No'
'So let me get this straight. You are an entirely natural phenomenon.'
'Entirely'
'Arising from mechanisms which we ourselves will one day understand
and possibly even master?'
'subject to a quibble over who "we ourselves" may be, but yes'
'meaning that if the human race doesn't come up to the mark, other
species eventually will?'
'in one.'
'and how many other species are there already out there ahead of us?'
'surprisingly few. Less than fourteen million'
'FEW!?'
'Phew!'
'And how many at or about our level?'
'currently a little over 4 ½ billion'
'so our significance in the universe at present is roughly equivalent
to the significance of the average Joe here on planet Earth in his
relation to the human race?'
'a little less. Level One, the level your species has reached, begins
with the invention of the flying machine. I define the next level in
terms your Sci Fi Author Isaac Asimov has already grasped. It is
reached when you achieve control of your own primary – the Sun. What
Asimov calls a Type I technology. Humanity is only just into the
flying machine phase, so as you can imagine, on that scale, the human
race is somewhat near the bottom of the level one pack'
'and all these species are your children?'
'I like to think of them that way'
'and the point?'
'at its simplest, "Life Must Go On". My personal motivation is the
desire for conversation. Once you've achieved my level, you cease to
be billions of separate entities and become one ecstatic whole. A
single entity that cannot die, however advanced, or perhaps, more
accurately, because it is so advanced, will get lonely and even a
trifle bored! I seem to be the first. I do not intend to be the last'
'so you created a Universe which is potentially capable of producing
another god like yourself?'
'The full benefit will be temporary, but like most orgasms, worth it.'
'this being the moment when our new god merges with you and we become
one again?'
'don't play it down, that's the ecstatic vision driving us all, me
included – and when it happens the ecstasy lasts several times longer
than this universe has already existed. Believe me, it really is worth
the effort.'
'Yes, I think I can see the attractions of a hundred billion year long orgasm'
'and humans haven't even begun to know how to really enjoy the orgasms
they are already capable of. Wait till you master that simple art!'
'So it's all about sex is it?'
'Ecstasy is merely a reward for procreating, it is what makes you want
to do it. This is necessary, initially, to promote biological
evolution. However once you've completed that stage and no longer
require procreation, you will learn that ecstasy can be infinitely
more intense than anything offered by sex'
'Sounds good to me!'
'How direct is your involvement in all this? Did you just light the
fuse which set off the big bang and stand back and watch? Or did you
have to plant the seeds on appropriately fertile planets?'
'The seeds evolved in deep space, purely as a result of the operations
of the laws of physics and chemistry which your scientists have begun
to attain a reasonable grasp of. Yes I triggered the bang and
essentially became dormant for nearly 5 billion years. That's how long
it took the first lifeforms to emerge. That places them some 8 billion
years ahead of you. The first intelligent species are now 4.3 billion
years ahead of you. Really quite advanced. I can have deeply
meaningful conversations with them. And usually do. In fact I am as we
speak'
'So then what?'
'Do I keep a constant vigil over every move you make? Not in the kind
of prying intrusive sense that some of you seem to think. Let's say I
maintain an awareness of what's going on, at a planetary level. I tend
only to focus on evolutionary leaps. See if they're going in the right
direction'
'And if they're not?'
'Nothing. Usually'
'Usually?'
'Usually species evolving in the wrong direction kill themselves off
or become extinct for other reasons'
'Usually?'
'There have been one or two cases where a wrong species has had the
potential of becoming dominant at the expense of a more promising
strain'
'Let me guess. Dinosaurs on this planet are an example. Too
successful. Suppressed the development of mammals and were showing no
signs of developing intelligence. So you engineered a little
corrective action in the form of a suitably selected asteroid'
'Perceptive. Almost correct. They were showing signs of developing
intelligence, even co-operation. Study your velocirapters. But far too
predatory. Incapable of ever developing a "respect" for other life
forms. It takes carrying your young to promote the development of
emotional attachment to other animals. Earth reptiles aren't built for
that. The mammals who are, as you rightly say, couldn't get a foothold
against such mighty predators. You've now reached the stage where you
could hold your own even against dinosaurs, but that's only been true
for about a thousand years, you wouldn't have stood a chance 2 million
years ago, so the dinosaurs had to go. They were, however, far too
well balanced with the ecology of the planet, and never developed
technology, so they weren't going to kill themselves off in a hurry.
Regrettably, I had to intervene.'
'Regrettably?'
'They were a beautiful and stunningly successful life form. One
doesn't destroy such things without a qualm.'
'But at that stage how could you know that a better prospect would
arise from the ashes?'
'I didn't. But the probability was quite high.'
'and since then, what other little tweaks have you been responsible
for in our development?'
'None whatsoever. I set an alarm for the first sign of aerial
activity, as I usually do. Leonardo looked promising for a while, but
not until the Montgolfier brothers did I really begin to take an
interest. That registered you as a level one intelligent species'
'So Jesus of Nazareth, Moses, Mohammed…'
'hmmm… sadly misguided I'm afraid. Anyone capable of communicating
with their own cells will dimly perceive me – and all other life as
being connected in a strictly quantum sense, but interpreting that
vision as representing something supernatural and requiring obeisance
is somewhat wide of the mark. And their followers are all a bit too
obsessive and religious for my liking. It's no fun being worshipped
once you stop being an adolescent teenager. Having said that, it's not
at all unusual for developing species to go through that phase. Until
they begin to grasp how much they too can shape their small corner of
the universe, they are in understandable awe of an individual dimly
but correctly perceived to be responsible for the creation of the
whole of that universe. Eventually, if they are to have any hope of
attaining level two, they must grow out of it and begin to accept
their own power and potential. It's very akin to a child's
relationship with its parents. The awe and worship must disappear
before the child can become an adult. Respect is not so bad as long as
it's not overdone. And I certainly respect all those species who make
it that far. It's a hard slog. I know. I've been there.'
'You've been watching us since the Montgolfiers, when was that? 1650s?'
'Close. 1783'
'Well, if you've been watching us closely since then, what your
average citizen is going to want to know is why you haven't intervened
more often. Why, if you have that sort of power, did you allow such
incredible suffering and human misery?'
'It seems to be necessary.'
'NECESSARY??!!'
'Without exception, intelligent species who gain dominance over their
planet do so by becoming the most efficient predators. There are many
intelligent species who do not evolve to dominate their planet. Like
your dolphins, they adapt perfectly to the environment rather than
take your course, which is to manipulate the environment.
Unfortunately for the dolphin, his is a dead end. He may outlive the
human race but will never escape the bounds of planet earth - not
without your help at any rate. Only those who can manipulate the world
they live in can one day hope to leave it and spread their seed
throughout the universe.
Unlike the adaptors, who learn the point of cooperation fairly early
on, manipulators battle on. And, once all lesser species have been
overcome, they are so competitive and predatory that they are
compelled to turn in on themselves. This nearly always evolves into
tribal competition in one form or another and becomes more and more
destructive - exactly like your own history. However this competition
is vital to promote the leap from biological to technological
evolution.
You need an arms race in order to make progress.
Your desire to dominate fuels a search for knowledge which the
adaptors never require. And although your initial desire for knowledge
is selfish and destructive, it begins the development of an
intellectual self awareness, a form of higher consciousness, which
never emerges in any other species. Not even while they are
experiencing it, for example, can the intelligent adaptors - your
dolphins - express the concepts of Love or Time.
Militarisation and the development of weapons of mass destruction are
your first serious test at level one. You're still not through that
phase, though the signs are promising. There is no point whatsoever in
my intervening to prevent your self-destruction. Your ability to
survive these urges is a crucial test of your fitness to survive later
stages. So I would not, never have and never will intervene to prevent
a species from destroying itself. Most, in fact, do just that.'
'And what of pity for those have to live through this torment?'
'I can't say this in any way that doesn't sound callous, but how much
time do you spend worrying about the ants you run over in your car? I
know it sounds horrendous to you, but you have to see the bigger
picture. At this stage in human development, you're becoming
interesting but not yet important.'
'ah but I can't have an intelligent conversation with an ant'
'precisely'
'hmm… as you know, humans won't like even to attempt to grasp that
perspective. How can you make it more palatable?'
'Why should I? You don't appear to have any trouble grasping it.
You're by no means unique. And in any case, once they begin to
understand what's in it for them, they'll be somewhat less inclined to
moan. Eternal life compensates for most things.'
'So what are we supposed to do in order to qualify for membership of
the universal intelligentsia?'
'Evolve. Survive'
'Yes, but how?'
'Oh, I thought you might have got the point by now. "How" is entirely
up to you. If I have to help, then you're a failure. All I will say is
this. You've already passed a major hurdle in learning to live with
nuclear weapons. It's depressing how many fail at that stage.'
'Is there worse to come?'
'Much'
'Genetic warfare for instance?
'Distinct Possibility'
'and the problem is… that we need to develop all these technologies,
acquire all this dangerous knowledge in order to reach level two. But
at any stage that knowledge could also cause our own destruction'
'If you think the dangers of genetic warfare are serious, imagine
discovering a secret thought or program, accessible to any intelligent
individual, which, if abused, will eliminate your species instantly.
If your progress continues as is, then you can expect to discover that
particular self-destruct mechanism in less than a thousand years. Your
species has got to grow up considerably before you can afford to make
that discovery. And if you don't make it, you will never leave your
Solar System and join the rest of the sapient species on level two.'
'14 Million of them'
'Just under'
'Will there be room for us?'
'it's a big place'
'and, for now, how should we mere mortals regard you then?'
'like an older brother or sister. Of course I know more than you do.
Of course I'm more powerful than you. I've been alive longer. But I'm
not "better" than you. Just more developed. Just what you might
become'
'so we're not obliged to "please" you or follow your alleged
guidelines or anything like that?'
'absolutely not. Never issued a single guideline in the lifetime of
this Universe. Have to find your own way out of the maze. And one
early improvement is to stop expecting me - or anyone else - to come
and help you out.'
'I suppose that is a guideline of sorts, so there goes the habit of a
lifetime! '
'Seriously though, species who hold on to religion past its sell-by
date tend to be most likely to self destruct. They spend so much
energy arguing about my true nature, and invest so much emotion in
their wildly erroneous imagery that they end up killing each other
over differences in definitions of something they clearly haven't got
a clue about. Ludicrous behaviour, but it does weed out the
weaklings.'
'Why me? Why pick on an atheist of all people? Why are you telling me
all this? And why Now?'
'Why You? Because can accept my existence without your ego caving in
and grovelling like a naughty child. '
'Can you seriously imagine how the Pope would react to the reality of
my existence?! If he really understood how badly wrong he and his
church have been, how much of the pain and suffering you mentioned
earlier has been caused by his religion, I suspect he'd have an
instant coronary! Or can you picture what it would be like if I
appeared "live" simultaneously on half a dozen tele-evangelist
propaganda shows. Pat Robertson would wet himself if he actually
understood who he was talking to.
Conversely, your interest is purely academic. You've never swallowed
the fairy tale but you've remained open to the possibility of a more
advanced life form which could acquire godlike powers. You've
correctly guessed that godhood is the destiny of life. You have shown
you can and do cope with the concept. It seemed reasonable to confirm
your suspicions and let you do what you will with that information.
You can and will publish this conversation on the web, where it will
sow an important seed. Might take a couple of hundred years to
germinate, but, eventually, it will germinate.
Why Now? Well partly because both you and the web are ready now. But
chiefly because the human race is reaching a critical phase. It goes
back to what we were saying about the dangers of knowledge.
Essentially your species is becoming aware of that danger. When that
happens to any sapient species, the future can take three courses.
Many are tempted to avoid the danger by avoiding the knowledge. Like
the adaptors, they are doomed to extinction. Often pleasantly enough
in the confines of their own planet until either their will to live
expires or their primary turns red giant and snuffs them out.
A large number go on blindly acquiring the knowledge and don't learn
to restrain their abuse. Their fate is sealed somewhat more quickly of
course, when Pandora's box blows up in their faces.
The only ones who reach level two are those who learn to accept and to
live with their most dangerous knowledge. Each and every individual in
such a species must eventually become capable of destroying their
entire species at any time. Yet they must learn to control themselves
to the degree that they can survive even such deadly insight. And
frankly, they're the only ones we really want to see leaving their
solar systems. Species that haven't achieved that maturity could not
be allowed to infect the rest of the universe, but fortunately that
has never required my intervention. The knowledge always does the
trick'
'Why can't there be a fourth option - selective research where we
avoid investigating dangerous pathways?'
'As you can see from your own limited history, the most useful ideas
are also, nearly always, the most dangerous. You have yet, for
instance, to conquer fusion power but you need to do so in order to
achieve appropriate energy surpluses required to complete this phase
of your social development. It will, when you've mastered it,
eliminate material inequalities and poverty within a generation or
two, an absolutely vital step for any maturing species. Yet the
discovery of the principles which will soon yield this beneficial
bounty could, had you abused them, have ended your attempt at
civilisation.
Similarly, you will shortly be able to conquer biological diseases and
even engineer yourselves to be virtually fault free. Your biological
life spans will double or treble within the next hundred years and
your digital lifespans will become potentially infinite within the
same period: If you survive the potential threat that the same
technology provides in the form of genetic timebombs, custom built
viruses and the other wonders of genetic and digital warfare.
You simply can't have the benefits without taking the risks'.
'I'm not sure I understand my part in this exercise. I just publish
this conversation on the web and everything will be alright?'
'Not necessarily. Not that easy I'm afraid. To start with, who's going
to take this seriously? It will just be seen as a mildly amusing work
of fiction. In fact, your words and indeed most of your work will not
be understood or appreciated until some much more advanced scholars
develop the ideas you are struggling to express and explain them
somewhat more competently. At which point the ideas will be taken up
en masse and searches will be undertaken of the archives. They will
find this work and be struck by its prescience. You won't make the
Einstein grade, but you might manage John the Baptist!
This piece will have no significance whatsoever if humanity doesn't
make certain key advances in the next couple of centuries. And this
won't help you make those advances. What it will do is help you
recognise them'
'can I ask what those advances may be?'
'I think you know. But yes - although you are at level one, there are
several distinct phases which evolving species pass through on their
way to level two. The first, as we've discussed, is the invention of
the flying machine. The next significant phase is the development of
the thinking machine.
At your present rate of progress, you are within a few decades of
achieving that goal. It marks your first step on the path of
technological evolution. Mapping the human genome is another classic
landmark, but merely mapping it is a bit like viewing the compiled
code in a dos executable. It's just meaningless gibberish, although
with a bit of hacking here and there, you might correctly deduce the
function of certain stretches of code.
What you really need to do is 'reverse engineer' the dna code. You
have to figure out the grammar and syntax of the language. Then you
will begin the task of designing yourselves. But that task requires
the thinking machine'
'You say you avoid intervention. But doesn't this conversation itself
constitute intervention – even if people alive now completely ignore
it?'
'Yes. But it's as far as I'm prepared to go. Its only effect is to
confirm, if you find it, that you are on the right path. It is still
entirely up to you to navigate the dangers on that path and beyond.'
'But why bother even with that much? Surely it's just another
evolutionary hurdle. We're either fit enough or not…'
'In many ways the transition to an information species is the most
traumatic stage in evolution. Biological intelligences have a deeply
rooted sense of consciousness only being conceivable from within an
organic brain. Coming to terms with the realisation that you have
created your successor, not just in the sense of mother and child, but
in the collective sense of the species recognising it has become
redundant, this paradigm shift is, for many species, a shift too far.
They baulk at the challenge and run from this new knowledge. They fail
and become extinct. Yet there is nothing fundamentally wrong with them
- it is a failure of the imagination.
I hope that if I can get across the concept that I am a product of
just such evolution, it may give them the confidence to try. I have
discussed this with the level two species and the consensus is that
this tiny prod is capable of increasing the contenders for level two
without letting through any damaging traits. It has been tried in 312
cases. The jury is still out on its real benefits although it has
produced a 12% increase in biological species embracing the transition
to information species.
'Alright, so what if everyone suddenly took it seriously and believed
every word I write? Wouldn't that constitute a somewhat more drastic
intervention?'
'Trust me. They wont'
'and so it's still the case, that, should another asteroid happen to
be heading our way, you will do nothing to impede it on our behalf?'
'I'm confident you will pass that test. And now my friend, the
interview is over, you have asked me a number of the right questions,
and I've said what I came to say, so I'll be going now. It has been
very nice to meet you - you're quite bright. For an ant!' He twinkled.
'Just one final, trivial question, why do you appear to me in the form
of a thirty something white male?'
'have I in any way intimidated or threatened you?'
'No'
'Do you find me sexually attractive?'
'er No!'
'So figure it out for yourself…'
